Don’t get me wrong – I love the way Target has designed its stores (catering to women) and how the quality of their merchandise and clothing has held up, particularly considering how affordable they are. I enjoy the atmosphere and customer service there, and prefer Target’s retail experience over the mecca of insanity and apathetic customer service, Wally World.  For a long time I have considered their branding and marketing campaigns to be nothing short of extraordinary with catchy, modern tv commercials and slick print ads. But when it comes to data, Target has missed my target.

To be a socially and environmentally responsible business, why spend millions on direct mail campaigns tied to outdated information taken from baby registries? What happened to my data that I supplied – did it disappear down a black hole or was it frozen so that my son is perpetually 2 months old whenever the mailing list is pulled? I’m surprised by this, particularly as a smart marketer interested in customer relationship marketing and market research. Clearly Target doesn’t know what kind of a gold mine it has and how it can utilize that information to build relationships and increase sales.  Everything from social media interfaces, to email sales communications, to loyalty programs and, well, mailing out the right friggin coupons is all within their power and grasp, if only they cared to hit the bulls eye with a simple CRM program and a savvy marketer like me!  Oh well, I guess I’ll just continue to recycle those coupons, Mother Earth. You’re welcome.

I finally saw the BBC version of the Diary of Anne Frank just the other day. I had never really seen any movie or television series about her life; I had only read books about her and of course, I love the quote from her that I posted on my home page of this blog. In seeing the portrayal of Anne and her family, I was moved, so strongly that I got on a WWII kick and watched The Pianist and other films about the Holocaust and persecution of Jews. One in particular that is worth watching is called Inheritance – I will have to write about this later. If you are a Netflix subscriber, these films are worth the rental.

In my fits of sleep, I dreamed that I was living in a maze of ladders and small spaces, hushed in silence for fear that someone might capture and torture me. To think of Anne, this poor teenager, who ironically had a wish to change the world with her writing after the war, struggled with being hidden away simply because of her religious affiliation.  She was too young at the time she was locked in the annex to understand the gravity of the situation that her family as well as those living with them faced. She kept hoping that things would lift up, that her dreams would be fulfilled, the war would be over, and then after 2 years of hiding, her life was stolen and her dreams were lost by the ignorance that snuffed out the precious lives of so many. Anne and her sister were just a month away from being liberated in 1945; it is reported that they both died of Typhus, most likely because prisoners in the camps were not given medicines or any type of medical treatment. It is disgustingly sad, and it has left a lasting mark on me.

I spent today with my boys watching Anne Frank in the BBC movie again, and I dealt with the questions of “what happened to them?” I checked out two books from the library on Anne Frank, and we will be reading them for the next couple of weeks. We were told by the library that all copies of The Diary of Anne Frank were lost or missing; the children’s room librarian promised to order more and I asked if I could donate a copy. I want my kids and others to know that no matter how bad or how sad things become, that one has to live. Live like there is no tomorrow, that you might make the world a better place for having been born into it. If that is something I can teach others, then at least one of my missions in life will be fulfilled. God bless the suffering, and may they be richly rewarded in a peaceful heaven, reunited in love.

May this tragedy never occur again.

Just ask, I think to myself, as I ask in my head and ask out loud for what must be the thousandth time. I ask and ask and ask again, over and over, and repeat my positive thoughts daily in my head. And guess what? I am not really feeling the success, but rather I feel I am setting myself up for failure or perceived unworthiness because my dreams are not unfolding at my feet. Then it occurs to me, late at night or whenever it is that my over-analyzing brain starts firing, that this “law” cannot possibly be true. It just can’t. Sorry to say, since I know I am probably simplifying many of the discussions in the book itself, but this was a realization that struck me, and has enlightened me to the flaws of the law of attraction.

If you are thinking that my doubt and disbelief are just the result of being born a realist-pessimist (depends on the day!), then think again. You see, I have friends and family who saw such dreams for themselves. Dreams that included a spouse, a family, a happy career, wealth, fame, overabundant success, whatever you like. Just recently, a dear relative of mine who was a single parent via the miracle of adoption, was looking forward to a romantic wedding. She had met the most charming man, from a place overseas, who filled her life and loved her girls. Her career was going strong, her life was happy and positive, and she was planning for the biggest day of her life – the day she would commit to him as her husband. Things were moving along and she was preparing a place for him in her home.  She had just finished speaking with him half a world away, when she received word of his death.

I can’t express the grief that came, and still continues for her and her girls. I think about it all of the time because it is all so senseless, and so sad.  There are many others I know, and maybe even you who are reading this, who can attest to horrible circumstances in their lives. You see, because of these things, I cannot and will not accept the law of attraction.  This tragic circumstance and many others like it prove the law, in my opinion, to be false and at odds with the concept of randomness. Sure, we have to have a positive attitude to expect great things and get on the right track to attaining our goals, but to say that my dear relative actually “attracted” this great tragedy by her thoughts and outlook is positively sick and insane. The day I realized this I actually felt deflated, sad and angry. How could this happen? Why?

So where does this leave us?  The truth is, sometimes things happen to us, whether good or bad. The right set of circumstances may come upon us and we might seize the day and take advantage of an opportunity. But what happens as a result is entirely coincidental. A person might win the lottery, collect the money, and become the victim of a fatal accident on the way home. Or, that same person might win, collect and live happily for many years in the Virgin Islands. It’s entirely random. Doesn’t matter how much you wish for anything to happen or not, things just ARE. And that is so hard for us to accept, especially us control freaks.

What to do? The only thing we can do is live by the golden rule, follow the teachings of Jesus, live, love and learn. Expect great things but not because we’ve been good this month or have thought positively about something. That’s the part that is sometimes hard to swallow, but it explains so much about the randomness of the universe and why bad things happen to good people. I have not abandoned hope yet, but I am not expecting it either. And the next time a “secret” is shared pertaining to the law of the universe, my skeptic self will proceed with caution and remember the real creator, the real Father, and the place where I hope to meet him…someday…a long, long time from now.

In this world of multiple social media outlets and digital overload, it’s important to remember the basics of simple web design and how it relates to your business. Recently, I spoke with a local business owner about his company website, which really did not seem to reflect the enthusiasm and knowledge for which he is known. His take on it? “I just gave the information to my web person and they created it for me.” Yes, and unfortunately, the site wasn’t getting much traffic and lacked a professional, updated image. It certainly  did not integrate well with his other marketing initiatives and branding efforts. I kindly suggested that perhaps a few tweaks could be made, but the response was not something I thought I would hear. “I really don’t get much out of my site – I just market my business by getting out and networking, and placing a few ads here and there.” I had to hide my shock.

Think about it this way – when someone does a search on you or your business (which they will), the first impression they receive when they find your site (if they find it) is critical to your success. Imagine visiting a corporation to find that their office looked like the waiting room of an old gas station.  Sure, it’s a business, but it’s cluttered, old, stale, unprofessionally decorated and not very inviting. Is that the first impression you want your site to make? Can you afford to ignore your web presence and hope that someone else will figure out what your online image should be? Please tell me “no!”

I have seen some misfit websites that just don’t reflect the organization projecting them.  To protect the identity of some of the violators, I have left them off, however I do want to share my top picks: the eMarketing Association, http://www.emarketingassociation.com/ and the National Association of Women MBAs* http://www.mbawomen.org/site/PageServer. *Update – see note below.*

These two sites have a lot in common, particularly crammed content, too many menus, a horrible landing design and outdated fonts. I could go on, but I wanted to focus on the overriding issues. When I saw these sites, I was surprised that such professional organizations could not project themselves in a more positive light considering the education and career levels of their clientele and the missions of their organizations.

If you’re wondering how to avoid having your site damage your professional reputation, I have a few guidelines to share.

1. Have a plan. Nothing ever gets accomplished without a plan! Decide what you would like for your virtual office to project given your business. Don’t leave your company’s image to chance. If you aren’t really web savvy, then hire someone who is or consult with a reputable web development firm.
2. Make sure the site design fits your company. For example, if you are a technology-based company, then your site is expected to present a cutting edge, updated look. Pages need to load easily and content should be fresh.  Consider using fonts that are legible and clean.
3. Keep it simple rather than cluttered. Avoid the typical box top/side/middle content look where everything is concentrated in one small area with a menu on the left on one on top. If there is a need for several menu items, consider categorizing those using sub menus and keep your main menu simple.
4. Provide a contact method that includes your address and phone number. You would not believe how many sites I have visited that don’t have this basic info – leave anything out and your site will seem less credible.
5. Don’t over-use common stock images. Sure, stock photography is great, but not so much when other companies (even competitors) are using the same images. Consider hiring a photographer for this and keep your images original.
6. Don’t kill your logo. I see this commonly, where logos are either too low-resolution and look grainy or faded, or they are sized out of proportion and look squeezed to death. Get a nice, clean copy and re-size it proportionally.
7. Avoid over-linking. This occurs when there are too many links or images or buttons or things to click on to visit other parts of your site. It’s great to have many places to visit, but consider rotating those images or placing them on other parts of your site.
8. Include social networking references only if you update your tweets, statuses and blogs! Sure, social networking shows your company is on par, but if you never add value by sharing content often or creating buzz, then why bother with the references to it? Same advice for publications or newsletters that are dated. Don’t leave content on your site that isn’t fresh or relevant.
9. Make sure your links work! If you change something or update the site with a new newsletter or case study (always update the site, by the way), be sure to change the links appropriately and have someone test this regularly.
10. Pages should load quickly. This means that uploading that jpeg or pdf that you want others to view should not be overly taxing to someone viewing your site. Like a broadcast commercial, you only have a limited time to connect with your audience, so don’t ruin it. I recently registered to take a certification test and tried over 5 times to set my test time using a very reputable, national company. Their site was so slow that my page failed to load time and again. I was pretty frustrated and it left me wondering why they were selected to administer my test.

Hopefully some of these tips will help you improve your online image, and help your site work to your advantage. Certainly I am no expert and I do not program sites, but if I have shared something basic with you that has inspired you to improve your digital presence, then I am happy to have imparted some wisdom from my experience. If you use some of this advice and happen to update your site, make sure you publicize it after you have several people review it for errors. Put the address on your business cards, stationery, under your logo, in your email signature, in advertisements, and everywhere you can think of to promote your business. After all, you’ll want to make the most of your new site.

*Special Note: As of January 21, 2011, I received an email notification from the National Association of Women MBAs telling me about the launch of their new site, and giving me a specific user name and password to peruse the site. This is the perfect example of how you can announce any changes you have made to your website that will make a positive impact on your online brand, so if you do make changes to your site, be sure and collect any email addresses you may have through the use of your old site and use them to announce the big news. I will have more to say about email marketing practices and ethics at another time, but wanted to call this out.  I can say honestly that the site, http://www.mbawomen.org/, is much cleaner, although I personally think there is still too much on the home page (scroll down to see what I mean). That being said, I am glad to see that the site has been re-designed, and wish them success!

After a quick set up, we sat under the trellis next to Kenny’s white umbrella and smiled to our hearts’ content. Sit here, lean there, hold his hands, smile, relax, turn forward, turn sideways. Behind us, the crisp fall air gave way to the rear of the house, reserved for meetings, weddings and other special occasions requiring beauty and convenience in a local facility. Snapping away, Kenny moved forward and back, side to side, and captured moments in the lives of our children that we will cherish for years to come. I was happy, content, hopeful for a good shot of us.

As I was sat still on the cold bench holding my busy and cranky toddler, in my peripheral vision I noticed a silent walker on the sidewalk, just past the iron gate next to the street. Unusual, I thought, on a cold Sunday for someone to be out for a stroll. In that instant, I noticed a plastic bag weighted by something and a military-type coat that the tall gentleman was wearing. SMILE, 1-2-3. What was he doing walking around? And why did this jump out to me?

Connor, the toddler, strolled through the grounds as the boys chased him and laughed. Snap. Kenny was at work, with his trusty assistant, Annette, smiling and helping us contain the excitement and reel the boys in to the photos. Snap. Snap. Sigh, time to end it because nothing makes the youngest happy…I see the man again, entering the gate as we wrap up the shoot. He looks friendly, weathered and worried all at the same time, carrying that plastic bag.

He speaks, first apologizing for the intrusion and for “bothering” us. Where, he asks, is a church or a place where he might find a meal or assistance? His trailer burned down on Thanksgiving. He has walked here seeking help. He has a sister, but can’t stay with her. He never expected the fire and never expected that he and his roommate would need shelter. Never expected this but just wants help. I am speechless but I want to say something. Annette, thinking, says that there is a church, with a red door, just around the corner where he can find assistance. I look at her, confused. I am wondering if the church is open. Where is Helping Hand located again?

He thanks us, clarifies the directions he was given, moves on, and doesn’t say anything further.  We get back into our warm vehicle and turn onto Mulberry. I am silent, but dying to say something. Just SAY SOMETHING! My husband, looks at me briefly as he is driving. “Let’s go by McDonald’s.” I think, no way we are going to eat there – we are trying to conserve our money since I am not working, and please God let him mean that it’s for the man who needs it. “I want to get that guy a meal and a hot coffee,” he says. My world is complete and a sigh of relief hits me. I thank him and tell him I was thinking of the same thing, and that I am glad he said it. I did not want to give the man money, but I was worried that he would be hungry and cold. We discuss briefly between us how this would help the man, and set a great example for our children to follow. We go to McDonald’s and order enough food for a troop. Now, to find him.

We talk to the kids about giving and helping others, and why we chose to provide food. They are agreeable. I smile and almost cry. We find him walking, down the sidewalk toward First Christian Church. We stop in the old Duke’s Sporting Goods parking lot and Harold pulls close to him and asks the boys to get out to provide the food. The man cries, and he thanks us. He thanks us for helping and says he can smell the food…he is on his way to another church he says, and we nod. I notice a City Police car going slowly by us on Mulberry. I think to myself, please don’t stop. Don’t tell this man to leave. He is grateful, thankful, humble… and in that instant, I am too.

God Bless the homeless, the weary, the cold, the malnourished, the unloved, the sick, the uncared for, and those who seek happiness and shelter. God Bless everyone. Count all of your blessings, especially those you forgot about along the way.

1) Establish a regular bedtime and wake up time. This will help keep your body alert and awake when you need it most, especially if you are writing cover letters or calling potential employers to let them know you are perfect for the job they are trying to fill.

2) This is hard, especially during the holidays, but eat wisely. By wisely, I mean don’t eat to excess, eat the right things (no junk food) and stop depending on food for comfort. Believe me, I have abused this rule so I know what I am talking about! If you’re doing it, stop! If you haven’t done it yet, don’t start.

3) Get rid of bad habits. I don’t care what it is – cursing, overeating, smoking, drinking, being lazy, whatever.  Now is the time to perfect yourself and get rid of things that don’t add to your persona. I have abused this one plenty too, damn darn it.

4) Pray. Yes, I am a Christian, just pray. It heals the soul and allows you to meditate.

5) Get out of the house and find something you enjoy that does not cost a lot of money.  One thing I suggest is a brisk walk, even in winter time (just bundle up first).  Another good one – go visit a friend or a neighbor.  Get to know people who surround you.

6) Volunteer. Find a cause, and volunteer. Believe it or not, there are plenty of people in this world who would not receive the basics in life if it were not for YOU. So go for it. Find a cause and support it as much as you can.

7) Plenty of people advocate for being in great physical shape, but I say see #2, 3 and 5 and at least just keep moving. Never become so solitary that you lose motivation to keep looking for that right position.

8 ) SMELL THE ROSES.  Such a cliche, but so true. Now that you don’t have a job or maybe are looking for one while being employed at a place you are not fond of, make sure you smell the roses and find things you enjoy or love to do. Take time for yourself. I have found since I have been unemployed, that I appreciate things that I missed when I was working full time, non-stop. This is a blessing, not a curse.

9) Explore new opportunities, no matter how small they may be. Don’t rule out jobs that may lead to future positions you may enjoy more – start at the bottom if you have to, and work your way up. Try to swallow your pride a little.

10) Continue a learning path. If you have always wanted to take a class, do it. If you want to know more about a subject, go to the library and study it. Find others in a profession you are interested in or who have a skill you desire and absorb information by chatting with them.

One thing’s for sure, I struggle with being positive on some days but realize it is my only alternative because nothing has ever been gained by being negative. Keep moving, keep learning, practice for interviews and most of all, appreciate what you have and what you can offer. If YOU don’t, NO ONE will!

A trip to South Carolina this summer was the ultimate experience for me, bringing my Mom and her childhood friend closer as they searched for the graves and former home sites of the “greats” as I will refer to them, since some have a few “greats” in front of their relationship titles as they pertain to me. Reading the memoirs of Col. Ellison Summerfield Keitt (my great-great grandfather) prior to the trip was amusing to me! It was like stepping back in time and listening to a man boastfully proud of his accomplishments, in love with his wife, and dedicated to his country. How was I to know that in researching this rather eloquent but prideful man and his past, that I would soon become connected to so many new friends and distant relatives I didn’t know existed?

Through Ellison’s sons, came forth new families. Families that didn’t always socialize or congregate often but in rare times, attended the same funerals and weddings and even lived in the same places. And through my connections and research, I have now reached out to a new relative, close to my age and family situation, who is moving nearby to this section of the world, and who will share life experiences with me and my family. We have so much in common, and so much to learn about each other. It’s exciting and new, and I am anxious to begin a new journey in a lifelong friendship.

Yes, sadly there are those who never take the time to see where they came from or what happened in their families long ago. Some could care less about where they came from or who their relatives are.  Possibly this is by deliberate choice and excommunication from a family from which they grew distant, or by an apathetic attitude toward stories and ancestors that they can’t relate to (pardon the pun). Whatever the reason, these individuals prefer to live in the present and leave the past behind. What a shame that opportunities for them will be missed, and their lives will not be touched and enriched by the discovery of someone new from their ties to the past.  Always keep in mind that sometimes the past can create the future, and that the next great friendship may originate from old roots.

This evening, I was sitting on the porch with my son just before the long awaited rainfall came. It occurred to me as I watched him and heard the sounds of irritated birds chirping (I have cats) that as much as I really want the right career opportunity to come into my life and to bless me and my family in so many ways, that my extra time with my children will come to an end. And oh, how I have enjoyed that time, but I know we have to move on for the sake of my family. But still, I want to have my cake and eat it, too. I think we all do, which makes major life-affecting decisions so much harder.

Just watching the plight of the Chilean miners and all of the little miracles from God that kept them alive in that dark and deep place in the earth for so many days, I felt like my problems were so small and my frustrations completely unwarranted.  Inside, I know that God has a plan for all of us which includes me, I just have to learn how to wait.  Patience is so hard to grasp, especially when we live in times of instant gratification and quick solutions. I pray that I will have more patience and know that a light will be coming soon. After all, 33 men trapped in a mine waited to see light, and now they will have a recovery period to go through until they can fully see it. May you also be blessed with patience, and see the miracles around you as you go through changes in your life!